Thursday last was quite a day. We started off with the not-so-small task of shooting the video for Avalon. This was to be Pro’s first full-performance video so no crazy props or costume changes, just one awesome location and the band playing the song over and over again. From 10am till 8pm.
The location is an old mental asylum that’s fallen into disrepair. Add some smoke, natural light flooding through stainless glass and a few spots and it was looking pretty special. Personally I would have ordered a few white doves to come up from behind the drums but hey it’s not my gig.
One of the opening shots is of Stephen entering the asylum / performance space. Now these jeans he’s wearing are rather good. They’re made by Edwin, a company that recently invited us to throw a Burger Gang party in their Shoreditch store. Rather unluckily, the dates in the diary suddenly clashed so we had the Avalon shoot going on late and the Burger Gang party starting early. I left the Avalon at a rather early 5pm, things were looking on schedule, no dramas so far.
Over on Charlotte Road, EC2, Lewis and the good people from Edwin were putting the final touches to the shop. Pretty simple really, free cocktails courtesy of Hoxton Gin free Remedy beer ON TAP!
Mini cheese burgers from Red Dog Saloon, home of all things B.G.O.D. We also had a sick DJ, I probably should find out what his name was…
Frig, what was it? Tip of my tongue…. tee-hee, of course it was none other than The Last Skeptik – if you’re not up on his beats then check him out – the man’s a machine and has kindly lent us tunes for the last two Puma x PG videos we’ve done. Go find.
We made a small shrine to Aussie Nick, the burper from Burger Gang Episode Two. Then we opened the doors and the shop went from this….
To this….
Thankfully we had a good doorman because it was a road block by 9. But then when you have the world’s best flyer and free beer that’s bound to happen.
Next up was the hot wing challenge. Lewis has done this so many times now (firstly on Burger Gang Ep2, then for ITV’s new TV show All You Can Eat and finally head to head against Gino Di’Acampo on Let’s Do Lunch) that it seemed like another member’s turn to step up. Di’Acampo backed out in front of a live audience egging him on. But I’m not as lily-livered. Or I’m just stupid. Either way I was up against 4 others including Toby from O Children – the only guy I know who is taller than Lewis, and a wrestler called Barbell Bateman who gets into arguments at his local curry house because they don’t do curry hot enough. Tough competition.
Now for the science bit. To clarify the heat we’re talking about let’s refer to the barometer of capsaicinoids commonly known as the Scoville Scale. A bell pepper has zero Scoville Heat Units (SHUs) whereas Habaneros, a fairly punchy pepper, come in at 400,000 SHUs. The naga chili sauce that we were eating on our hot wings comes in at a blinding 1.4 million SHUs. And blinding it was; law enforcement grade pepper spray comes in at 1.5 to 2 million SHUs. Thankfully I didn’t know that last fact at the time. But it certainly explains this.
This….
And this
We weren’t given gloves this time, so even after washing my hands twice I still managed to put the oil residue into my face as I tried to wash away the snot, tears, sweat and lava sauce. Hence the red blotches. Take my word for it: it hurt like fuck.
This guy won and I came last I think. Actually no, Toby from O Children had to run from the shop and puke under some scaffolding. He then went home and was not in anyway happy, so he lost.
The winner…
The challenge is to eat all six wings and then sit out ‘the burn’ for five minutes – no liquids, no movement, just a whole heap of weird things going on in your body as it says ‘what the fuck are you doing to me?!?’ and starts shooting endorphins all over the place like some bodily fire extinguisher filled with morphine. And there is a high. But it’s definitely not worth it. It’s just your body going ‘Oh wow, I didn’t actually die… whoop whoop…’
Now Greeners told me that he didn’t enjoy the spectacle but this photo clearly says otherwise. It’s a strange thing to do and it’s a strange thing to watch, but I think the British like such things, and, in my endorphin x Remedy fug, I remember a hell a lot of shouting and an equal amount of laughter.
The next day I didn’t make it anywhere near the office but Joakim, our editor took a look at some footage and made this little taster that pretty much so sums it up…
B.G.O.D. x EDWIN – The Hot Wing Challenge with Rufus from Rufus Exton on Vimeo.
After that, it was all a bit of a blur as we set off to celebrate life and kill the alien in our bellies with vodka. Thanks to everyone involved…
Edwin 47-49 Charlotte Road, Shoreditch, London, EC2A 3QT
Red Dog Saloon 37 Hoxton Square, London, N1 6NN
Hoxton Gin & The Hoxton Pony 104-108 Curtain Road, London, EC2A 3AH
2012, Avalon, behind the scenes, dream mclean, exclusive footage, Hot Wings, Photos, professor green
For some of us, the weekend’s festivities kicked off a little too early. Thursday night and we were off to the East End for the very first tasting of Remedy. A select group of journos and beer aficionados turned up to sample this badboy. What started off as an April Fool’s joke, filmed in my living room, had gone from this:
To a fully functioning alcoholic beverage that looks like this:
To say it was a proud moment for all of us was an understatement. A lot of fun, a lot of hard work and hopefully something we’ll all be able to enjoy for a long time to come. Now’s probably the time to explain that Remedy won’t be to everyone’s taste; as we always said we weren’t looking to make another insipid lager, if you like your beer to be easy and favour quantity over quality then Remedy might not to be your taste. I’d call it a pale ale, it’s got a bit of bite to it but that’s the point: it ain’t no Hofmeister.
The usual characters were there and a fair few bottles were gone by 9pm. Then it was time for us all to go our separate ways. I went to the Henry Holland Superga launch in Camden but there’s nothing to add about that except that I bumped into this little lady…
Look how happy she is to see me. After a few sickly sweet cocktails (ah the things we do for free booze) it was time to squash into a Fiesta and hot foot it to Park Lane where things took a decidedly more chi-chi turn. The Playboy Club was celebrating its first Birthday and had accordingly invited all of London’s premier playboys, hence my presence was required.
Ok, Green was asked to do a live show and so I surfed through the doors on his coat-tails. Now we’ve been talking about going to this place for a long time now and I must say I’ve heard mixed reports. It’s got Bunny girls and every red blooded man wants to get with a rabbit. Whether it be Jessica Rabbit, the Cadbury’s Caramel minx or just Bright Eyes from Watership Down, there’s just something ok about suggesting bestial relations with a bunny: Hugh Hefner knew what he was doing.
This was ours, and a lovely lady she was. Her first words to me were one of the most wonderful snubs of my life and I’ve endured a few:
Bunny: Excuse me sir, are you sure you’re meant to be sitting here?
Me: Er, yes I think so, I’m here to drink Professor Green’s rider.
Bunny: Ah, wonderful, well then your table is just here, this table is reserved for Guns n Roses.
Alas Axel and his ridiculous new face didn’t appear but I lived in hope for several hours. The show was a blinder, no word of a lie. Unfortunately I didn’t get any usable shots because the lights were crazy and I was on stealth cam which just can’t handle such things.
But you can tell how it went from Green’s face as he came off stage….
After that we got down to what the Playboy Club does best: cocktails and bunny girls.
Now as the pictures might suggest, the Playboy Club is a more raucous affair than you might be led to believe. Amongst all the dancing and debauchery there is a relatively sedate bar named Salvatore, named after Mr. Calabrese Senior, who is renowned as one of the world’s great cocktail makers. Now seasoned regulars at the Hoxton Pony will have come across the famous Calabrese hospitality in the shape of his son Jon. When you meet Salvatore, you see where it comes from: like father like son.
The drink Stephen is holding was a gift from Salvatore also pictured above. It is an Old Fashioned, one of my favourite whiskey drinks, one that I’ve enjoyed with Stephen many a time. Yet this one is a little different. It is made with a rye whiskey from the year that the drink was supposedly invented – 1913. So effectively, it’s a 100 year old drink. Now I’m not one for the ‘world’s most expensive burger’ or 1000 pound bottles of champagne but this is one extravagant idea that I can’t help liking a lot. Not £600 a lot, but a lot nonetheless.
A very proud looking Calabrese Junior. Thanks Jon for all your hospitality and your continuing ability to turn a blind eye to my drunken exploits.
After such a gift, it all got a bit emotional and high-spirited. We danced, we drank, we laughed a lot. I’m not sure the Playboy Club is a place to meet your life partner but the drinks are unbeatable and the people watching is second-to-none.
And one more gratuitous Bunny picture. Now that’s it, I’m thirsty, time for a drink.
behind the scenes, bunny, Photos, Playboy, professor green, whisky‘I missed the bus, I missed the bus, I missed the bus’ So sang Chris “Mac Daddy” Kelly & Chris “Daddy Mac” Smith aka Kris Kross back in those early nineties when it was de rigeur to sport oversize jeans back to front. Steez.
Anyhow I too missed the bus. Too much to be done in London and I’ve not even finished editing the last UK tour so I don’t really deserve to go gallivanting across Ireland with the rest of Team Green do I?
In my place, a good chap by the name of Boyce. Now those of you who know Boyce, know he’s a man of few words, so I shall let his pictures do the talking. Rather too good in my opinion….
2012, At Your Inconvenience, at your inconvenience tour, behind the scenes, pro, professor green, tour footage, uk 2012 tour
The next day we got up early and went straight to the hotel pool. This is undoubtedly the greatest pool I’ve ever had the pleasure of bombing.
Those pink shorts have got me into a lot of trouble on this tour. I’m not sure we can go into the details but suffice to say that out here if you wear pink people assume you like to kiss men. I don’t like to kiss men and I don’t like it when men kiss me. IQ and Felix turned up. I don’t know how this next shot happened, but it did and I think it needs to be enjoyed by a wider public. Also, if I don’t put it up here, IQ will accuse me of favoritism.
The pool cleared out pretty quickly at this point and we had things to do, cameras to repair and cities to see.
We spent the morning trying to find somewhere in Melbourne to fix the camera, but 20 places turned us away; it was starting to become clear that we wouldn’t be seeing any results until we got to Sydney where Canon have their HQ.
That afternoon we got stuck into the promo tour, visiting a couple of local radio stations and getting involved in some pretty awkward interviews.
Then it was across town to soundcheck for one of our sideshows with Jessie J.
And this turned out to be the toughest gig of the tour, with nearly all of the band having trouble with the sound reverberating back at them. Apparently this is called ‘slap back’ and it means they can’t hear themselves properly. That said they managed to hide their frustration and the crowd reaction was one of the best yet so it ended on a high. For once though it wasn’t 7 guys and a girl having a lot of fun, it was hard work instead.
After the show we were told that there was an after party on the 28th floor of our hotel and Fatboy and Skrillex were doing DJ sets. They’d be free booze and food and it’d be great, so we went.

The cities we’ve stayed in have all been very modern, lots of skyscrapers and marble malls. And while this might not look great it does afford some great views.
BURGER GANG
OR DIE
WHISKEY
TEQUILA
Now this might look like I’m ending this post with another gratuitous bathroom picture of myself but this image is important because several hours after it was taken I was found in this bathroom, wearing that Tshirt and…. well, nothing else.
We’ll never know what happened exactly (though Stephen is doing his best to solve the puzzle by requesting all CCTV footage from the hotel is handed over to us) but I’ll take a stab at piecing it all together. After our failed trip to the casino, Nick and I were feeling a little out of pocket so when we were offered a night of free food and alcohol we thought we’d get some value for money if you follow my drift. If one night had cost us a fortune, then we were definitely going to make up for it by another one on someone else’s tab. And we won’t be seeing each other for 6 months now, so we weren’t going to bed early. No, we were going H.A.M.
Too many tequilas and it was time to call it a night. I fell fast asleep but I think I then woke in the night and fumbling for my bathroom I stumbled through the first door I found and into the hotel corridor. At this point I realized I had no key and no pants, but instead of opting for the obvious remedy and making said t-shirt into a pair of shorts, I just got in the lift and headed to the concierge to ask for another key.
Now the Australians are notorious for their laid-back attitude but even they have their limits. Ultimately towels were provided, key cards were cut and I got back to bed and fell into another deep sleep. Oh yeah, I woke up a little late and managed to miss our transfer to the airport, so I spent the next day hanging my head in shame and being taunted for the misdemeanors of the night before.
So once again we’d drunk too much and we shouldn’t do that but hey no-one was hurt and we had a lot of fun. This post might suggest I’m proud of what happened but I’m not, however I do know that it’s part of this job that if we let the side down, it’s not going to be covered up, our deeds are to made public on the internet, the modern day stocks, a tarring and feathering to teach us our lesson and mend our ways.
Rufus
2012, australia, behind the scenes, professor green
Disclaimer: the views expressed here in this blog post are not those of Stephen Manderson or his record label. Before anyone else gets in touch to complain can I just say that this is simply how things looked from where I was standing.
Melbourne got messy. I’m not sure why but I’m blaming old friends, jetlag and Canon. This is the XF105, the baby brother of the 305 that we used to make Professor Green Unseen.
Now these aren’t cheap but we decided we needed one for this trip to Australia. So, despite the fact that Stephen and I have probably spent well over 10 grand on Canon products over the last 3 years, we decided to buy this little puppy for a not-insignificant 3 grand. And then 3 days into this trip it gave up the ghost.
Obviously I’ve brought a spare camera with me and technically it’s not my fault that the camera died, but I’m conscious of the fact that a lot of money has been spent on flying me out here to film TV broadcast quality content and, without this camera, I’m essentially wasting everyone’s time. Thank god for customer care and a good warranty, Canon will appreciate our commitment to their brand, they’ll remember that Stephen told the readers of The Sun that the Canon 5D was essential festival equipment, they’ll take pity on my predicament and impending nervous breakdown; they’ll bring me a new camera to exchange for the 4 day-old, 3 thousand pound camera that doesn’t work.

Or maybe they won’t? Maybe they’ll not reply to tweets, send generic responses to every email and conclude that Canon Australia is a separate entity to Canon UK and my warranty doesn’t cover me abroad. Think ‘canoe’, ‘without paddle’ and a polite ‘fuck’ and ‘off’. So, I won’t bore you further, but I think it’s safe to say that Canon’s international warranty basically translates to ‘hey guys, please buy our cameras but whatever you do don’t you dare contemplate taking them on holiday….’
So back to Melbourne. Night number one was spent catching up with old friends and drowning camera-related sorrows. This is my buddy Nick, Biggest Lew’s partner in BurgerGang related crime.
First stop – a Korean chicken joint that served beer, chicken and cheesy corn. Two out of three aint bad.
Next we headed to a Japanese divebar to drink whiskey and gold-infused Sake.
You had to choose which cup to drink it out of, which is a pretty nice idea, unless it reminds you of the cup scene in Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail.
Happily no-one’s face melted off, I don’t think we won the gift of eternal youth but we did get drunk.
After dinner and drinks we wanted dancing but nowhere was open so we headed back to the hotel for a night-cap. And this is when things went wrong. Whereas back in Blighty a good hotel will keep its bar open all night long, here in Australia they’re shut by 11 o’clock. Now I was loathe to crack open the mini-bar because I’m a bit tight like that, so when the receptionist suggested we could get a beer in the local casino, that seemed like the cheapest, most sensible course of action.
Now I’m no James Bond, but I’ve done a bit of gambling in my time and the rule of thumb seems to be: drinking and gambling equals losing. So that’s what we did. The first half-hour was great fun, we were losing but nothing considerable. Once we were out of chips we decided we’d win our money back by putting all of our cash on red. Two minutes later I was at the cashpoint withdrawing enough money to get on the poker tables and rectify our run of bad luck. By this point it wasn’t fun anymore, I folded my way out of chips while Nick sat there watching our hopes for a pleasant end to the evening die slowly.
I love this picture of Nick because he looks like such a loser.
And that’s what we were: losers, limping home, with that steely glare that says ‘let’s change the subject, get the fuck out of here and never speak of tonight ever again.’
But to add insult to injury they’ve stuck this guy’s face just outside the casino. He’s not a gambler; look – he’s married, happy and so successful he doesn’t even have to wear a tie. I could have cried.
So we wandered home in silence and went to sleep, promising to learn from our mistakes, to get back on the straight and narrow and fall into line for a little while. Oh if only we’d known what was to come…Unfortunately I’m too tired to continue so you’ll have to wait for part two or Friday’s edition of The Sun for that story.
What did we learn? Well, that gambling and drinking are dangerous companions and that ultimately when making large purchases we should always choose a brand we trust, one that we hope values us as much as we value their products. The end.
Rufus
australia, behind the scenes, Photos
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Australia is a big place. 5 hours later and we’ve arrived in Perth. Thank God for plush hotels because the jet lag isn’t abating. I’ve never before appreciated how bad it can get; I feel lost, muffled, disorientated by waves of tiredness that just won’t go away. I’ve tried everything, drowning it under the waves, running it out, sleeping it off, killing it with booze, but still we’re a week in and it’s here to stay.
Future Music Perth was a little different to Brisbane. Less rain, more shirts and an altogether bigger and wilder crowd. Felix and IQ got things started with a short and sharp warm up set and by D.P.M.O. the crowd were showing their appreciation by showering Green with beer. When you consider the heat and the queue for the bar I guess this is a real sign of affection.
Post-gig mingle with the fandem.
I’m loving the VB. I’m sure it’s what Mick drank in Crocodile Dundee or maybe it was Alf in Home and Away. Either way it’s better than it looks. Not a bad Italian meal ruined by a Spanish guitarist who insisted on raping such classics as Stand By Me.
I can’t say I’m feeling Perth. It’s got even less charm than Brisbane. Don’t get me wrong, it’s clean and safe and the people have been as friendly as anywhere in the world, but everything’s so new, the architecture so haphazard and thrown together, that it all feels rushed and put together without any heart. And before the local tourist board complains (as they did when I suggested Brisbane had too many muscles) can I just say this is the experience of one jet-lagged man who has only seen a shade of what Australia has to offer. This country undoubtedly has some of the world’s most impressive nature, the people seem kind and welcoming, I think maybe I just don’t like their buildings and how they build their cities.
Later that night, a few of us went to the Festival after party at some bar called Space. We headed down with Skrillex and the guys from Flux Pavillion who played upstairs. It seemed to be on some impromtu tip because the crowd went proper spare. Personally I think people waste way too much time discussing dubstep and the pros & cons of Skrillex. A super-friendly guy who played some nasty songs that made everyone pull stupid faces and bang their heads… what more do you need?

Twenty minutes later I found Felix cornered by 6 or 7 young locals. I don’t know how to put this, but they definitely thought Felix was someone else, I don’t know who, but I do know that Felix was too much of a gentleman to shatter their illusions. Our Felix is a gentleman like that: not one to burst the dreams of young, impressionable fans.
You know that moment when you think ‘I’m balling, I’m balling… oh shit I’m really not balling…’ That’s how I felt when I realized I was drinking a bottle of Smirnoff Ice that someone had kindly put their cigarette out in.
That was pretty much time to call it a night. There was a jazz club somewhere down the road that was doing a live tribute to Whitney Houston, I was down but no-one else was…. So we wandered home and that was that, another great day, too much sun and too much booze, but hey, when in Rome….
Rufus
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At Your Inconvenience, behind the scenes, exclusive footage, mobile app, qr code, video shoot
Part 2 of the At Your Inconvenience tour videos has now been added to YouTube, so if you haven’t got the Professor Green mobile app yet you can now check it out here…
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